How do you tell whether the person you're dating is the perfect person for you when there are so many individuals in the world?
You can never be assured of anything. Only time will tell whether this is true.
However, you may search for specific indications in your relationship that indicate that you are compatible with one another. When it comes to dating, it isn't about finding the "ideal" person for you. You want to look for someone with whom you can get along well, notwithstanding your differences in opinion.
The media and poor dating advice, unfortunately, have influenced individuals to place too much emphasis on the incorrect characteristics while dating, particularly in the early stages of a relationship. A strong attraction to each other and a continuous feeling of butterflies in the stomach are not indications of compatibility.
The indicators of compatibility are considerably more subtle. The majority of people take their time to learn about the other person. However, there are a few indicators you may watch out for early on to determine whether you and your partner are compatible enough to have a successful relationship.
So, what exactly are those omens? Let's have a look at them...
Your future objectives are the same.
I once had a relationship with a man who was both racist and sexist. That some of the things he stated were horrifying is something that cannot be argued with. I tried to ignore them as much as I could. But all it accomplished was to lead me to lose my respect for him and to become more resentful of his presence.
Fast forward to present, and my current partner and I have come to a lot more mutually agreeable conclusion. We place a high emphasis on transparency, respect, trust, and the strength of our connection. This makes making important life choices and resolving disagreements more simpler. Not to mention how much I respect him as a person.
Compatibility is built on the same beliefs and morals of two individuals. If you don't have them, you're going to differ on the things that truly matter, and you may even start to lose respect for one another, just as I did.
Your approaches to debating are similar.
Have you ever given any thought to how your spouse approaches disagreements? Alternatively, and maybe more crucially, what is yours? It may come as a surprise to learn that individuals have a variety of conflict resolution methods, and that mismatched types may make a relationship challenging.
During even the most trivial disagreements, an ex-girlfriend of mine enjoyed taking up a lot of space (a lot of room). I, on the other hand, am a big fan of taking things on head-on. Regardless of whether was the healthiest option, we had diametrically opposed debating techniques. This resulted in our battles lasting far longer than they should have.
You should be encouraged if you and your spouse have a tendency to resolve disputes in the same manner. A good relationship is not defined by the absence of conflict; rather, it is decided by how you deal with conflict both during and after it occurs.
Having similar debating techniques indicates that you will be able to recover swiftly from disagreements that will inevitably occur in life.
You may express your affection in the love languages of your partner.
As a relationship and dating author, I get a large number of letters from individuals who are unhappy in their relationships. Occasionally, someone may tell me that their love language is words of affirmation, but then go on to describe how their spouse is horrible at communicating.
Don't get me wrong: individuals can work on showing someone they care in the way that person prefers to be loved. Not to mention the fact that you may learn to identify your partner's preferred mode of expression. However, if your love languages are already in sync, you will save yourself a lot of time and effort.
Even the openness to experiment with new ways of expressing love may be a sign of compatibility. As I already said, don't stress about finding the "ideal" spouse. Significantly more essential is the willingness to learn and develop in order to improve the connection.
You and your pathner share the same aspirations for the future.
On a first date, you should without a doubt inquire about the objectives of the other person (if you are looking for a long-term commitment). Is it possible that they are seeking for a long-term relationship? Do they wish to get married and have a family in the future?
Not everyone wants to reach the same major life milestones at the same time. However, many couples choose to overlook this information and continue to date since they do not consider it to be a significant feature at this time. But, oh boy, are they completely incorrect.
Yes, it is not necessary for someone to know whether or not they want to have children in the future. However, if you are certain that you want kids, you need at the very least be dating someone who is open to the concept. He's not the kind of man who gets a shiver at the sight of a kid.
Take heart in the fact that sharing the same vision for how you want your future to unfold is another another indication that you and your spouse are a good match.
You both have separate lives outside of the relationship.
People have a wide range of requirements throughout their lives. Allow me to explain each of them in turn, as well as what the heck they have to do with compatibility in general.
If you're searching for a life companion, you shouldn't anticipate that individual to stay with you for the rest of your life; this is neither realistic nor healthy. Your sense of identity is enhanced when you have hobbies, friends, and interests that are unrelated to your relationship with your spouse. The same is true for your romantic relationship.
In terms of requirements, neither of you should expect the other to fulfill all of your requirements. That is not a reasonable expectation. Friendships exist precisely for this reason. The same may be said about self-regulation. In relying on your spouse to make you happy or provide you with a sense of purpose, you are failing to establish appropriate limits.
If you're presently taking stock of your relationship and saying to yourself, "Cool! We're both fairly comfortable with having lives that don't constantly include each other," then you're on to a good thing.
They are popular among your friends (and vice versa).
I do not believe that it is appropriate to disclose the whole of a relationship to friends, especially if those people are highly opinionated and have a bad track record in relationships. Your partner's friends, on the other hand, are more likely to like him or her.
People may get so absorbed in their own emotions that they fail to see the faults in others. Emotions are a strong medication that may impair even the most logical of individuals' judgment. It is at this point when friends come in handy.
Your friends have a more objective perspective on your relationship than you do. The fact that your friends appreciate your spouse indicates that you are not overlooking some glaringly apparent problem. It also implies that your buddies aren't experiencing any strange sensations.
My argument is that if your friends like your spouse, and if your partner's friends like you, then you have passed the compatibility test among your peers.
You acknowledge and respect one another's differences.
When it comes to our relationship, if my partner and I agreed on everything, it would be quite dull. I look forward to our small dinnertime discussions (to an extent since I get defensive too quickly). However, the fact that my partner and I do not agree on everything does not imply that we are not compatible.
When we respect one other, even when we disagree, it indicates that we are compatible. For a good, long-term partnership, respect will always be an unassailable need.
You'd be hard pushed to find someone who completely agreed with you on everything you believe in. Furthermore, that would be a very dull partnership. As long as you and your spouse accept each other's differing viewpoints, you know you're in a good relationship.
You feel at ease when you're around them.
What is the most underappreciated element of a compatible relationship is something that cannot be seen or described in any way. Even though it is a sensation that you may not believe is significant, its importance cannot be overstated. I'm referring about the sense of being at ease in your partner's company.
The subconscious mind is far more sensitive than the conscious mind in terms of picking up on information. Feelings have the ability to quickly override your instincts and obscure warning signs. You'll know when anything is wrong since your subconscious will alert you whenever you find yourself unable to be yourself with someone.
The most enjoyable aspect of my present relationship is that I am free to be as bizarre as I want without feeling judged. My partner loves me for who I am, even the things that most people might consider unattractive. Even if I tried, I couldn't make myself feel any more at ease with him.
And it is an undeniable indicator of compatibility. Comfort is something that cannot be faked, yet it is also impossible to ignore when it is absent.
When it comes to dating, compatibility is not something you will have with everyone. When you discover that special someone with whom you share all of these characteristics, I urge you to take a moment to reflect on how fortunate you are. Keep this individual close to your heart.
Sure, this list isn't a guarantee that your relationship will work out in the long run, but it will at the very least assist you in determining whether or not you are in a healthy relationship. Due to the fact that nobody can foresee the future, but you may be on the lookout for indications that your prospects are excellent.
Comments