Am I In Love?
Because the vast majority of "the signals" they tell you are just nonsense.
If you attempt to look up "how to know you're in love," you're going to have a difficult time finding anything.
Here's a tiny sample of what you may expect:
“They are always on your mind.”
This is a case of infatuation.
If someone is "always" on your mind, it means that you are not paying attention to other Really Important Things. And therein is the dilemma.
Real love is integrated into everyday life rather than taking over. It is not overpowering, but rather peaceful.
"You have a strong desire for them" or "can't get enough of them"
See the preceding paragraph.
"They're your 'everything,'"
"They appear in your future, as you perceive them.”
The issue is that we've turned "love" into a game of escapism, and we've come to judge prospective mates by how well they fit into our idea of what love should be. That is not the definition of love.
You may well see them in your future — but not because they "complete the image," as some may suggest.
It is them who you have been dreaming of.
See the preceding paragraph.
“You want them to be around all the time.”
Ha. Hahaha. Clearly, you have never been in a (good) long-term relationship before this one.
The majority of the time, you should desire to see bae. Love, on the other hand, is not always willing to. Sometimes you just need a minute to yourself. You may be required to labor or perform other duties from time to time.
Don't dismiss a relationship as unloving because you need space from time to time.
“You're willing to go to any length to impress them.”
Well. That's very frightening.
You're putting out so much effort? It is not “impressive” to be in love.
“The fear of losing her, the fear of never being with another woman... the list goes on and on."
Healthy love is not accompanied by apprehension over losing one's partner. That is a kind of attachment.
The dread of "never being with another lady" is also absent from this situation. That is something I am completely unfamiliar with. Do you have a low sense of self-worth? Is there a lack of conviction?
This is another another instance of attachment rather than mature love.
"They're really stunning."
This is self-love, not love, as the expression goes.
"They're kind tho."
Well. Thank you for ensuring that your emotional needs are fulfilled.
However, this just indicates that they are worthy of affection. This does not imply that you are in love with them.
"You simply know"
Thank you for the most useless piece of advise I've ever received.
To everyone who has ever said anything like this: y tho?
Don't propagate bad things and refer to it as "romantic" just because you don't have appropriate responses.
When someone says, "They're the greatest part of your day," tread carefully.
“Seeing my fiancée is the highlight of every day for me,”
The difference here is most often indicative of how the remainder of your day will unfold.
Good: If you're content with your life and your spouse contributes to it, you should be pleased. You have won.
Bad: If you're depressed and relying on your spouse as a safe haven, you need to get your life in order.
“You decide how important they are.”
Good: you show genuine concern for their desires and needs, and you prioritize them in a manner that does not put you in a vulnerable position.
Bad: you make concessions to your own desires and demands, or you place your worth in your capacity to "keep them happy."
How to know if you like them in the way you act:
They are distinct from the rest of the group.
It's fantastic for them.
You like them for reasons other than their appearance.
Congratulations, it seems that there is yet hope for you.
You want them to be happy, don't you?
Great. I want the majority of people to be happy.
You'll experiment with them and see what works.
You've met someone with whom you're comfortable and whose company you like spending your time with. You've done well.
They motivate you to strive to be a better person.
Role models have the same impact on us as they do on them. That does not imply that we approve of them.
How to tell whether you love someone:
1. You are aware because you made the decision.
You don't have any feelings for anybody. You are the one who does it. It is a physical act, not an emotion. It is a choice and re-commitment made on a moment-to-moment basis. You know this because it is intentional and conscious on your part.
2. You are aware because you engage in the act of loving.
You make an investment. You put out effort.
You are not intentionally causing damage. You aren't spiteful, petty, manipulative, or jealous, and you don't want to be. Their requirements are never a source of irritation. You don't take advantage of them, their time, or their love in exchange for anything. You are safe without the need for continuous reinforcement from others.
You give precedence to their points of view. You find out what their love language is. You think in terms of their interests rather than your own, and their needs are as important to you as your own. You agree with them. You're rooting for them. You are concerned and cautious. You agree to allow and accept.
3. You know because you engage in the act of loving despite your reluctance to do so.
Everyone believes they are in love when the sky are clear and the seas are calm, but wait until the storm comes before you believe it.
You know this because you continue to love even when you are angry. If you don't "argue," it's love; if you disagree, it's not love.
If your goal is to achieve an agreement rather than to choose a winner, you'll like it.
If you don't become defensive, insecure, or manipulative, you will be loved. If you don't keep track of your points. It's okay if you don't keep grudges. If you don't "take back your love" as punishment, you will be punished.
Those whom you love are those who want to understand before being understood; those who listen and respect what they have to say — and those who do not engage in a retaliatory response to their problems. Though you behave as if you're on the same team, it will be easier. You pay attention. You make a pact with yourself. Please accept my apologies. You are forgiving.
You know this because you continue to love even though you are hurting. Particularly important is recognizing and respecting their desires and needs, even if these necessitate “breaking up.”
It is “how to love” rather than “how to ‘know' we are in love” that we should be searching for on Google.
We prefer to make a distinction between "falling in love with" and "falling in love with" someone. However, “falling in love with” is infatuation, and infatuation is worthless when it comes to finding true love.
So, if what you desire is true love, the question of "how to" becomes irrelevant.
You "know" because you make the decision. When you do it with love, it's a beautiful thing. Almost all of the time.